Saturday, June 30, 2012

Well hi's been a while

The last few weeks weren't too great so I didn't write much.  Who wants to read about me whining about life??  You all have your own problems so I just haven't posted anything.  I'm a little better now...not that things are better, I'm just accepting them better, so I can write again! Yay.

I have nothing too exciting to write...but I will comment on a few things and I will share a little bit...

First off, ObamaCare. Oh my fucking god.  I love that everybody on Facebook is suddenly a genius.  I love that people write what they believe are in-depth and really "deep" status' about this and how it's going to ruin the country and blah blah blah.  Here's my issue....I highly doubt that you, Mr. Pothead, who generally only writes about how he "can't wait to get high" actually read all 920 (or however many) pages of this.  It's fine to have an opinion, but I would think that people would be smarter than to simple hear what "their" side says about it, and take it as fact.  If we aren't old enough or smart enough to know that everything political is skewed to meet the needs of the party sharing it, then that's just sad.  But the other thing is that I don't get why people want to fight about this and start what they call "discussions" on everybody else's pages.  Grow the fuck up.  If you have your opinion and your beliefs, good for you....but let's not waste everybody's time while you go on and on about how we are dumb if we don't agree.  You look like a jackass, an ignorant jackass.  If you can't understand that differences in opinion and beliefs are what this country is made of, then you probably can't understand the actual issue you are arguing about either.   Guess what???  I don't get it all either....I've read things from both sides, and the "neutral" side.  I still don't understand it all, and I'm sure as hell not claiming to.  But I'm also not nagging you to believe the one sentence I did read and agree with.  Don't do it to me.  It's a great way to piss me off.

Happy I got that off my chest....

Moving on...
My well is not working again!  During a heatwave!  Want to come over?? I SMELL AWESOME!!  Yea, baby wipes are my shower, but whatever, it's cool.  NOT.  The freakin' thing keeps losing it's prime.  Do you know what that means??  Well, essentially, the lines keep getting filled with air, and not water.  Although a faucet is nice when it shoots out air, it's not nearly as cool as when it shoots out water.  We've primed it...again and again....we can get water for 2 mins! Woo Hoo.  Then it's gone.  I'd get as far as putting some shampoo in my hair.  IF THAT. It's awesome.  So finally, the landlord is going to call a well company!  Woo Hoo.   Too bad it's Saturday, and this isn't happening until Monday.  Hopefully it's something simple....a hole in the line that's easily accessible, or something.  Who knows.  I miss water.  I miss showers.  Justin misses having clean work clothes! I miss not having to use a bottle of water when I brush my teeth.  This reminds me of camping...and also why I'm more of a fan of "hotel-ing."

And for my amusing story....
Justin cracks me up...most of you don't know him well enough to ever hear him say some of the shit he says that absolutely makes me laugh out loud. So I will share a story.
The other morning, we were watching the news before he went to work.   There was a story about some survey in which women rated which celebrity they would most likely have an affair with.  Anyway, it was Tom Brady on the list and some others...I mean, Johnny Depp was NOT #1, so clearly, they didn't ask my opinion.  But anyway, this is how the conversation goes afterward:
Justin:  "What the hell, why didn't they do women?"
Me:      "I don't know babe. Who is your #1 you would cheat with?"
Justin: "Oh, there's a few, I can't just pick one."
Me:      "Ok, well give me your top three then"
Justin:  "I can't remember their know that girl..ummm..."
Me:      "You know, you have a MUCH better chance of hookin' up with a broad if you know her name"
Justin:   "No, I just need to get her alone in a room and I'll do just fine."
Me:      "Umm...ok, creepy guy that crawls in the window at night...."

So that's all for now kids....enjoy the heat and stuff.....enjoy your showers, laundry, rinsing dishes, and all that good shit.  :-)

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Discipline isn't a bad thing

The issue of discipline children is one that will always be debated as each family has their own ways of doing things and disciplining in ways that they feel works best.  And that's all fine and dandy.  I personally, was abused as a child, and therefore, I don't believe in hitting kids.  Another reason is that I think that what starts as "small spankings" can easily turn into more when it's one of those days where you are stressed, tired, sick, the kid is just being a terror all day, or whatever.  I think that even people with the best intentions, may one day cross a line that makes them uncomfortable.  But this doesn't in any way mean that I don't believe in discipline.  I think that kids need to understand right  & wrong, and they need to know that if they misbehave, privileges will be taken away or there will be some repercussion for their behavior.  Most of these beliefs that I have come from my own childhood, the gazillion things I've read regarding this, the 'mommy' blogs that I've always loved reading for some reason, "SuperNanny," and things I've witnessed myself from my friends. And no, I sure as hell do not think that I know everything.  And I also know that I will fuck it up when I have my own kids. 
Hylan is really good most of the time.  He listens well.  But he also gets one warning when he's doing something wrong.  And only one warning.  The next time he does it, he's done.  Whatever I said will happen, happens.  And yes, I feel guilty. And I actually hate doing it.  Especially because he generally will then do a mini tantrum.  Run into his room (put himself in time out I guess?! lol), cry, stomp around, come and tell me I'm mean or why I'm wrong or why he wants whatever he wanted, and then it ends.  And we talk about it and we hug and move on.  Did I mention I feel guilty every time?  I do.  I feel like I'm being strict and that he will hate me.  I try to be logical and know that it's helping him.  He needs to learn that there is good and bad, that everything in life won't be his way, that bad behavior or hitting somebody isn't tolerated, etc.   I've found that after a very long day of playing, around 6pm is usually his breaking point.  He gets whiny, and something usually causes a tantrum.  Yesterday, he was playing with the neighbor Devon and Devon suggested a game other than the "Zombies vs whatever" that Hylan wants to play ALL DAY EVERY DAY.  Devon was good, and kept playing with him, he really is a great kid! But eventually he said let's play "whatever" and Hylan walked up to him, pushed him, hit him, and screamed "No." 
I immediately said, "You're done Hylan" and we were going inside.  I had told him already to play nice since he'd already started whining.  So I had my first experience pulling a child from under the outdoor patio table, while he's screaming bloody murder and crying.  It was a good time.  I took him in the house and his little fit lasted about 1 minute.  Then he came out to talk.  We had a nice long talk about hitting as his mom had said he hit her boyfriend too.  I told him he needed to say sorry to Devon next time he saw him.  I explained that people don't like to play with people that hit them.  All that good stuff.  And he's ready to apologize and is hoping Devon will forgive him.  Which I know he will.  (Oh, and did I mention that during all of this, Justin was in the garden, in hearing distance, but didn't once come over!!!  Different story for a different day!  Leaving me to be the "mean" one as I was called!)
But either way, I think this works best.  And the whole point of this writing is actually about what happened when we went to get ice cream.  We were in the place, looking at flavors.  There was a young kid with his gram and mom, and the boy was whining.  There were about 4-5 other people waiting to order.  Then the boy went into a full on fit because of something to do with his ice cream.  This kid was so bad that a few people just walked out.  The staff were just standing there because the mother insisted that her son "use his words" instead of screaming.  This wasn't working.  It was holding up the line and the kid just screamed louder and louder.  And yes, it's probably happened to everybody and one day will happen to me.  But here's the part I don't agree with....and also why I think the child probably acted like a 2 year old when he was clearly 6 or 7...The mother said at least 10 times, "If you don't use your words you won't get ice cream" or "If you don't stop, you won't get ice cream."  This ice cream was already on the counter in front of him.  Apparently the issue was that the cone was also in a cup because it was too soft for a cone only.  He only wanted a cone.  And on and on it went.  The mother never followed up on anything.  The little boy knew he could scream until he got his way.  The gram eventually was scooping the ice cream into the cone to hand him the cone like he wanted.  He still got his ice cream.  And all of this went on while they were paying. 
And we all watched.  Even Hylan noticed it.  And I can promise you, that if that was my child, the ice cream would have gone in the trash (if already made) or cancelled if not.  We would have been out that damn door faster than the speed of light.  And he would not have gotten ice cream, that's a fact.  Does this make me mean?  God, I hope not.  But there probably are people who think that it does.  And that's fine.  I don't want to ever raise children who think screaming gets them anything.  Does anybody?
I just don't get it.  I don't think the kid was bad...the parents were.  Obviously they allow this behavior and will continue to give him whatever he wants, so why should he bother not doing it?  He clearly knows that a tantrum gets him what he wants.  It's quite sad.   And these people probably started off before kids, like me, thinking they'd get it where did it go wrong?!!  I hope it doesn't ever happen to me. 

As usual everybody, thank you for reading!  You can leave me comments and make my day! You can also follow my blog and if so, I believe you get an email when I write something.  I really appreciate the comments I've gotten lately.  So many people were kind and wrote a lot after the last one.  Most were emails, texts, or fb messages.  But you can leave them here too!  Try it out!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Practicing being a mom.....

I'm a practicing mom this week....well sort of.  Hylan is here for a week and since Justin works all day, that means I'm here all day with him.  And to be perfectly honest, I was scared at first.  The fact that I can't drive myself any place bothers me enough when I'm alone, so the thought of having a 4 year old here all day and not being able to go to a park or well, anywhere was pretty damn scary.  But his mom needed a break and since I'm home all day, it was easy for me to help.  I think it's fairly normal for anybody with a 4 year old to want a break sometimes! We have a big yard so there plenty of room for him to play, even if we don't have a ton of toys for him.  I've learned that just running in circles can fascinate him for hours! The rain has put  a little damper on this outdoor play, but it's been clear off and on so he's managed to get out.  We played outside tonight for a while, he helped Justin in the garden last night, and he went fishing last night so it all worked out so far.  And it's not been nearly as stressful as I'd anticipated!  I've found things that he enjoys doing himself, which gives me a little bit of time to do other things...besides answer "how, why, how many,etc." over and over again!

I've learned a lot this are some of the highlights:
  1.  A 4 year old can hurt your feelings if you care about him! Here's what happened:  I was going to read him a bedtime story, then told Justin he should come too and we'd take turns.  Once it was my turn to read Hylan started crying, saying he only wanted his dad to read.  And yes, I acted almost as immature as I sulked out of the room...thinking "Well, you better hope you don't want anything to eat tomorrow until your dad gets home tomorrow from work!"  Good job on being the mature one Loriann!
  2. A 4 year old can also make you feel great, by saying the most unexpected and sweet things.  Here's a few: The morning after the reading incident, when we woke up he told me I was very pretty and gave me a hug!  Apparently when my hair is sticking in every direction, and my mascara is where my blush should go, I am pretty!  If only I'd learned this years ago!   He also told me today that I made the best chicken in the world and the potatoes and broccoli were great too!  Awww...isn't that sweet! He tells me I'm nice, asks for hugs, snuggles with me, and says thank you everyday!  (He may be ahead of his dad in this category!)
  3. Kids eat a lot of freakin' food :  I started putting small amount on his plate...but I think this week he's going through some sort of growth spurt.  He can eat a lot! I give him a good sized plate, about as big as mine, and he eats it all.  And he's great about fruits, vegetables, milk, and all the other shit that he should  eat and drink.  He actually does!  He just eats it constantly.  It shocks me because about an hour and a half after eating he wants a snack! He's actually hungry again.  Where do kids put all this food? I'm not sure, I think it's one of those great mysteries, and the fact that he's growing....either way, I'm just happy he's not one of those picky pain in the ass kids that only eats 4 things! He had chicken tonight that was a tad spicy and although he noticed it, he thought it was good!
  4. Ignoring the tantrums really does work!  The tantrums in question, ONLY happen occasionally, and ONLY when Justin is home. I'm not sure exactly why.  Maybe it's that I'm generally the one that makes the rules, and he's used to being with his mom, so he listens better to women? Maybe he's just testing his dad to see what he will do.  Whatever the reason, if he doesn't get his way and he is a little cranky, he will stomp off and pout.  And I let him.  He generally goes into his room and within 2-3 minutes he comes out, all better, and smiling like the great little boy he is.  I make it a point to discuss what happened when he  comes out, why he didn't get what he wanted, and I make him apologize.  And it works!  Did I say that yet???  He gets over it all by himself and carries on with the day!
  5. Kids wake up early and any mom who says her kid doesn't watch tv lies!   Ok, I don't know if that second part is actually fact, but I do know that the cartoons that are on in the morning save my life.  I am not a morning person and I don't sleep well at night.  Generally, Justin gets up for work, (waking me 20 times for various things that I don't care to remember), then leaves.  I fall back to sleep for about 20 minutes, then I hear the little foot steps coming and the cute little "I'm hungry." And I get up and so begins the day.  But as I sit there in that awful morning fog, trying to put out something for breakfast that is good for him, will fill him up, and is not too advanced for my morning skill level, he is glued to his cartoons.  And I'm okay with that.  This is how mornings start.  While he eats his breakfast, watching cartoons, I lay on the couch and try to wake up and become a functioning, coherent member of society.  
  6. I'm not sure what's worse...Justin or Hylan, but I think Justin is:  Hylan listens to me when I say to take his shoes off outside on the porch so he doesn't track mud in the house.  Justin...not so much.   Hylan listens when I ask him not to run through the house, because socks and hard wood floors equal falls and stitches.  I'd prefer not to go to the ER anytime soon.  Justin thinks it's a great idea that he chases Hylan through the house in those damn socks.  (The yard just aren't big enough apparently!)  Although Justin is quite good at understanding my "What the fuck are you doing? And why are you doing  the opposite of what I tell him all day" look.  So I guess that's good.  Hylan understands quiet time and when it's almost bed time he knows it's time to settle down for bed.  Justin thinks it's a great idea to play monster when he puts him to bed at night.  I sit here, listening to the giggling and screaming from the bedroom.  Honestly, it's really cute.  And I love watching Justin play with him.  And it makes Hylan so happy.  It's not the end of the world that he does the opposite of what I try to get into Hylan's head all day long, but I worry that he will get confused.  And I just know that one day the "Dad lets me" will come out. (At which point Justin will get the phone call where his life is threatened!)
  7. Kids are messy...another one that's not a shocker!  Hylan is traumatized by two is his hands being dirty and the other is water in his eyes.  Not even soap....just the water itself is enough to freak him the hell out.  It's amusing when I'm giving him a bath & rinsing his hair. I tell him NOT to touch his eyes as it's just water and will dry.  He continually rubs his hands, that are full of soap, into his eyes.  And now, there is soap in your eyes buddy!!  And the god, this kid wants to wash his hands 100x a day! During his lunch, he stops eating, just to ask if he can wash his hands when he's done!  It cracks me up.  But it's not the worst habit that's for sure! The amount of dirty clothes he's collected in 4 days is shocking!  The amount of stickiness on all things in my house is also shocking! ANd the poops...well, his poops are scary, but if you read my facebook you already know.  And yes, I've gotten better at helping him wipe.  I no longer gag!  I'm considering that a big step in the right direction!
  8. It's not easy....although I've never thought it was...but I'm just making it clear again.  He is a great little kid.  But he's a little kid.  And sometimes the constant questions are down right annoying.  Maybe it's because I don't have all the answers? Maybe it's because "Like one million" just annoys me after hearing it as the "amount" for anything?  Who knows.  But it does get old sometimes.  And when Justin gets home, the first thing I want to do is go sit on the porch alone for a little bit before making dinner.  I just don't have the same amount of energy as this boy does, that's for sure!
But really, it's been fun!  My neighbor Misty has been nice and helped me if I am unsure about something, or just need to vent so I don't scream.  And she has a little girl, and tomorrow we are going to the park!  I'm quite excite too. I'm really looking forward to talking to an adult for a little bit!!  
So that's my story so far!  It's been fun, much more than I'd expected.  It's an adjustment, that's for sure, but it's also nice seeing somebody so happy and positive every day!  And don't get me wrong, I have a ton of respect for all you that have multiple kids, jobs, and do this every freakin' day.  I know that I have one big plus going for me, and that is that he is going back to his mom's house in a few days! If it gets really bad, I remind myself of that!