The damn garden

The damn Garden......

Since most of you haven't been to my house, I will give you a quick background.  The couple that lived here for their entire lives were very into their yard and their gardens.  We have tons of land, and looking out over the patio, you can clearly see 7 large gardening plots.  Obviously, these are quite overgrown, but they are huge, like BIG, squares in the middle of the field and it seems they go on forever.  I don't know what he grew, but I 'm fairly certain it was enough for the town.  There is also another large plot at the top of the field, and gazillions of planters everywhere.  After clearing all the leaves from the property, we found that there are plants and flowers growing everywhere!  It's insane!  This man must have spent all day, everyday gardening.  And clearly, he was good at it because they are still growing strong, without any help from us.  We even have scallions already!  Now that we know they are there, we've been caring for them, and also have opted to plant a few flowers ourselves......in what few spots we could find that didn't already have things growing!  Or I decided to plant some flowers....Justin said he'd help, but he has since decided that he doesn't care about my flowers and only the vegetables matter.  Either way, the yard is starting to look pretty and I'm excited to see what it will look like once everything is in full bloom.  I'm not excited to see what this will do to my allergies, but that's another issue.

But onto the garden.....

Justin really wanted a garden.  He was so damn excited of all the things we will grow and I'm fairly sure that deep in his head he has a vision of a farm and us living off our land and the animals we have.  (Note that this will NEVER happen, but he can have a fantasy!)  I've never grown anything in my life and I've actually killed a cactus, so this wasn't something I was incredibly excited about, but I went along with it.

 You may think that since this is our first garden, we'd start small, since that would be the logical thing.  You may also think that since there are only two of us, we really don't need a massive garden.  If you think these things, you are like me.  Logical.  But that's not what's happening here.  Justin has this "go big or go home" thing going on in his head and he cannot walk by a damn seed display without questioning if we already have it, and if not, buying some seeds.  Even when I say we already have the vegetable in question, his new habit is to buy more anyway, because clearly we need a FARM, not just your average everyday garden. 

So we started off with seeds.  I was assigned the task of planting them in their mini pots to get them started.  It begin with just a few little planters, sitting on our sun porch.  Then we got that nice hot spell....and they began sprouting.  This led to elation on Justin's part.  Once he saw even the smallest bit of success, he went crazy.  We now have gazillions of mini pots with mini seeds, sprouting away.  Being that we have a large, sunny patio, they are now lined on the edges, all around the patio, peacefully basking in the sun all day and growing along nicely.  

But he's insane.  Have I mentioned that??  He insists on moving the mini pots 3x per day.  (Or  I should say, he insists that I do this every day while he is at work or otherwise not here to do them!) They must always be directly in the sun's rays.  It is not okay if there are in the sun, but the sun is not directly beating on them.  98% sunlight is not good enough for these babies.  

And boy do we have things growing.  I didn't expect them to be so successful, so some of these mini planters had a few seeds in them.  FAIL.  I've been scolded that they are going to choke each other.  He has tried to replant every single seed so it's alone, while telling me that I should have known that fact.  (Umm...hello, I said I had NO IDEA what I was doing and I did what you told me to do when I asked how dammit!)  But anyway, he waters them daily and I'm sure he has conversation with them.  Some have names too.  (I wish I was joking!) He checks the temperature for the evenings and if it's going to get too chilly, then ALL get brought inside.  Some nights he decides this around 1am, and off he goes. Then I get the joy of putting them all back outside in the morning.  In the exact spot for their morning sunbathing.  Until it's time to move them.  Then move them again.  I've tried explaining that when they are in the ground, they are not going to be moved every time the sun moves, but it's pointless.

And about the ground they are going in....yea....well, the leaves and twigs are gone.  But that's about it.  When exactly will the "garden" be ready for the plants I wonder?  (Hopefully, for the sake of the plants, it will be quicker than the building of my bookcase......he bought the wood 3 months ago!)

But I can tell you this....we are going to have a freakin' farmers market at our house all summer, so please, come over and bring a bag!  We have so many damn tomato plants it's scary, especially since I don't even eat them and I worry he will turn into a tomato after this summer.

Either way, it keeps him happy.  I even got him a book from the library to answer his questions since he continually asks me things....even though I have made it clear that I know nothing about gardens!  He won't look at the book though, apparently, once you get sprouts you are a master gardener and don't need a book.  Hmmmm....we will see how that all works out!

So here's to the garden.  The obnoxiously large garden.  And for aiming high!  Go garden go!

Moving forward.....maybe?

As you may or may not know, Justin has a son, Hylan from a previous relationship.  He's a great little 4 year old, but Justin doesn't get to see him very often.  And I've heard all the bad stories about his ex and I've witnessed some of the text or messages that she's left him. It's an all around sad situation because there is a little boy in the middle.  Being that I grew up in the middle of a similar situation, it hurts me to see.  I feel like neither one of them is willing to compromise and therefore they don't get anywhere.  But I also know that everybody has stories, and honestly, I don't care to be in the middle of them.  I don't really listen when people are going on and on about her because I wasn't there and therefore, I know that parts could easily be missing from the story.  That's how I treat everyone....or try to....stories are just stories to me.  Unless I saw it myself first hand, I'm not going to form my opinion based on them.  So to me, I tried to go into this was a clean slate.
This weekend, I decided to give it a try.  For me to talk to Jenn is easier because I don't have all the emotional baggage involved.  I talked with her for a long time and explained that we'd love to have him over for a night, or just the day if that's all she was comfortable with.  I heard every bad thing that's ever happened between her and Justin and although I didn't care to, it was part of the process, which is fine.  I believe that there are two sides to every story and I also believe that everybody makes mistakes.  But to me, the only way to move on is to let the past go and look forward.  So that was the stance I took.  


I could understand that she wanted to meet me as I was going to be around her son, and if it were me in that situation, I'd want to meet the other person too.  So I met with her, and talked to her and got her to allow Hylan to come visit for what turned out to be Saturday afternoon through Monday afternoon.  I showed her his bedroom, and that the house was safe.  I assured her that I'd keep in touch to let her know how he was doing.  And I did.  I sent her a few texts telling her what he was doing.  I sent a few pictures of him having fun. I let Hylan call her if he said he missed her.  And everything went really well.  I went and picked him up and also was the only one home when she came to get him.  To me, it made the most sense since Justin  & her don't accomplish much except fighting.  


He's a great little boy and although I've heard about the past, I've also found that everybody will agree that she did a damn good job raising her son.  He's incredibly polite, listens well, eats veggies and fruit for snacks by choice, and is very smart and imaginative. I was a little worried that he'd be scared or wouldn't have fun since we don't have a kid set up at our house, but it all went well.  Justin took him fishing and he caught a fish! We rented movies at night before bedtime.  He had fun playing in the yard and just running around exploring everything, and he made friends with the two kids across the street who came over and played with him.  
And yes, I was paranoid the entire time.  He'd run on the concrete patio and I had the visions of him cracking his head open as I once did.  But I'd ask him to come to the grass and play and he would.  I was worried that when it was time to eat, he would be fussy and not eat anything that we had.  I was also wrong.  He ate dinner with us and even asked for more broccoli!  I was worried that there was going to be a tantrum at some point, but he never once even came close.  Bedtime scared me too.  Obviously he was in a new place and I was worried he would be scared to sleep, or just not want to because he was excited.  But he had calmed down during the movie, and at bed time he jumped right in bed with his little animals all around him and fell asleep.  He was sleeping in what was my old bed.  A big queen size bed.  I was scared because it's a really high bed.  So to calm my own nerves, I took off couch cushions and put them on the floor around the bed.  But he barely even moved from his spot! And he didn't wake up at 6 am as I had feared, which was another nice bonus! (Note that the first night Justin & I whispered for the rest of the night and every noise we heard we tip toed over to his room to check on him!!)


I was shocked and very pleased with how well everything went.  I was worried there would be some awkward moments, but there weren't.  He told me stories and talked about his life and his mom.  It was really nice to see him and I enjoyed it all.  It was made clear that discussing anything bad between her & Justin wasn't ok with me. Sometimes we had to come up with creative answers when he'd ask why he couldn't come over more.  I hope that he can, and that's what I told him.  


Honestly, he's a great little boy and I hope that this is a step in the right direction.  We enjoyed having him around and want to buy some toys for him, but it's hard right now because we don't know if he can come back.  I hope he can.  I hope that everybody can move forward because no matter what the situation, I can guarantee that she could use a break sometimes.  He's full of energy and I was exhausted after having him here.  I know that she must get exhausted too.  And we can give her that break.  She can have some free time, go out, have fun, do things that aren't kid friendly, and we can get to see Hylan.  It seems a win for everybody.  I really hope it works out. 

Do you "get" music??

Today is a good day!
I love having good days!  Who doesn't?


And it's the little things.  The smallest things make me the happiest, and I think it's true for most people.  Unfortunately, I think that sometimes we get so caught up in everyday life, stress, whatever and we don't realize the small things that make such a difference.  


Music to me is one of those small things that has the ability to make my mood go from bad to good so quickly.  I love that music plays such a great role in my life.  I sometimes meet a person that doesn't listen to music, or maybe does, but doesn't "get it."  It always saddens me.  I honestly feel bad for these people.  


I was driving today, running errands, nothing too exciting.  But it was a nice day and I absolutely love driving, by myself, with my music.  The day was nice enough to have the windows cracked, and the sun was nice & bright making it warm enough to be comfortable in the car with the window open.  I love days like this.  


I'm a radio person.  A BIG FAN OF RADIO.  I get that there are great CD's out there that are great, I own them.  I get that you can customize your IPod to play only songs you like, I have that too.  But to me, sometimes,  radio is the best.  Especially on a day like today.  I can switch stations and be overwhelmed by song after song.  The great ones I haven't heard in a while,  the ones that bring back all those memories.  The switch from a new song that is great, to an old song from high school, to a song from when you were a kid, to a song that makes you think of your best friend, and then...a song to make you think of your grampa.  You get the point!


 I heard a song today and I truly smiled like a little kid through the whole thing.  It wasn't so much the song, it was the memories that the song brought back.  I remember dancing my little butt off watching my favorite bands play that song.  I thought of friends I haven't seen in a while, friends that were once part of the weekend party crew!  The girls that went to see every show of the certain cover bands that we LOVED. (And that mind you are still amazing and going strong, but I just sadly haven't seen in a while!) I love seeing live bands.  It's probably my favorite thing to do if I go out at night!     My friend Liz came to so many of these shows with me.  Never in Vegas and Darik & the Funbags were the best.  Liz & I would go to the bars, dance all night, bouncing around, having fun, enjoying every minute.  And certain songs bring me right back to those days.   She is amazingly fun and there was never drama when we went out.  We went to have a good time.  And we did!  And I'm so happy that I can be brought back to that time so quickly, just by pressing a button on the radio and having a certain song come on.


I also heard one of those great songs that makes you want to drive fast!  AC/DC Thunderstruck was the one this time, but almost all Motley Crue has the same effect on me.  And so, so many others....but I won't make an insane list!  Thunderstruck came crashing through my speakers, filling my car with amazing sounds, and making me tap my foot, shake my head, and "air drum" on the steering wheel.  It was great. (I looked super cool! LOL) Except the damn person in front of me going 25....what the hell....Thunderstruck is NOT a 25 mph song buddy!  (He just didn't get it!)


Lastly, I pulled up to Wal-Mart...windows still down, lovingly singing along..."I waaannnttt yooouuuuu to wwannnnnttt mmmeeeee"  I was so into it.  I didn't quite realize that I pulled into a spot, with the windows down, singing along (cuz I sound AMAZING in my car!), and there was a car next to me.  And they were waiting for somebody....3 of them to be exact.  With their windows down too!!  Oops!  But I got out of the car and they looked over, and said, "It's a great song!"  I just shook my head and said, "Yes, it is, sorry about that....I was just really into it!"  And I was so happy that they simply said, "It's what you do to a song like that!"   They get it.  THEY GET MUSIC.   I don't know them.  But I already like them! 


I love people that "get" music.  People that know a song can make the day better.  People that know a song can randomly come on and suddenly you realize you are crying.....because of the emotion of the song....maybe the memories.....good or bad.  People that hear a song and have to start dancing around no matter where they are, be it the car or the grocery store, because it's that good! 


To all of you music lovers....rock on....and when you see me in my car, singing along and dancing like an idiot by myself.....I expect you to give me the nod, be jealous even,...wondering what I'm listening to that's so great!


You know you do this too!!  What song does it for you?