Bedtime routine gone wrong

Look at her in all her chunky glory.  You just have to love her.

Today I am going to share a story that will make me look like a crazy cat lady...110%. No doubt. Let it be known that I actually do have a boyfriend, a life, a job, and friends.  I know reading this story you may really doubt me, but I swear, I'm actually not a crazy cat lady.  But my cats do rule my damn house and I have no control over these things anymore.  I can't stop this. It's been going on far too long and there is nothing I can do. Plus, I love my kitties and well, this is how it is.  It's a bit too late to try to solve this problem. 

Off to bed we go.  Sunshine has slept in my room with me for all 14 years of her life.  She has no intention of stopping now.  She sleeps next to me, cuddled up against me and after an hour or so has almost my entire half of the bed because she stretches herself out. Whatever, I can handle that.  What I can't handle, but still do handle every night, is the "bedtime routine."  It's worse than anything I've dealt with involving kids.

True story, every single night at bedtime....

I head into bed, and grab Sunshine.  She is old, fat, and has arthritis, so jumping into my fairly high bed is a battle for her.  She basically hooks her claws near the top and climbs her way up.  So bringing her into bed seems like it'd be the logical thing to do.   But she won't stay in bed.  That would be far too easy.  

Off she goes to eat something and do whatever around the house, while we fall asleep.  About 15 minutes after I'm in bed, about to fall asleep, the crying begins.  This cat doesn't even know how to meow, and makes some odd squeaking noise, REPEATEDLY walking through the house. It's loud. She makes it sound like she is dying because she is so lonely.  I call her from the bedroom  because apparently she has forgotten where we went and is devastated about being alone in the house.  She slowly walks into my bedroom with her long nails clicking across the wood floors.  I can hear where she is the entire time because she WILL NOT let anybody clip her nails.  When she's close, I tell her to jump into bed.  She stops walking, then it goes silent.  (I'm pretty sure she is just sitting on the floor, making sure I almost fall back to sleep before her next move.)  Once it's been a minute or two and I'm almost asleep, she goes over to the plastic trash barrel under my nightstand and bangs it against the wall, repeatedly.   This is usually the point where I get mad.  But I can't yell because she will run away, do her scratching routine elsewhere, and come back to start over the entire process.  She's trained me over the years.  It's just easier to do it her way and I will get to sleep earlier.

Generally, at this point, I can convince her to jump on the bed.  It's a 50/50 chance that she will listen and do her half jumping/half climbing thing.  If not, I usually will untangle myself from Justin, roll half way out of bed and pick her up myself.  She likes to back away from me as far as possible during this, just so that I almost fall face first out of bed. 

Finally, she is in bed.  But it's not quite over.  If I don't pet her, she will go stand on my nightstand and stare at me.  It's freaky.  So I usually half ass pet her for a few minutes until she lays down. I keep the blanket over my head before if she can see my face, she will lick my entire face.  It hurts! And well, I don't actually enjoy getting my face licked clean before bed. Who knew. Then finally, she lays down.  She's just like Justin in the sense that in about 30 seconds she is sound asleep.  On my arm.  All 15 lbs of her.   And my arm falls asleep. EVERY.FREAKING.NIGHT.

Yep, and I let this happen....because this cat knows all my secrets.  She lived with me through my twenties and may even remember things I can't remember.  It scares me. She could start her own blog and I may be in a little bit of trouble!  

But really, she's a sweetie.  Every night she pisses me off.  Then she comes into bed and purrs so loud and is so happy to lay next to me.  I'm a sucker.  I fall for this every night.  The odd part is that she has really become Justin's cat.  She is with him anytime he's home, but for some reason, she's all mine at bedtime.  Awesome. 

A letter to any new neighbors...that I probably can't send

Maybe you've heard about my neighbors and all the drama.  I really am considering giving anybody else who moves into this neighborhood this nice little letter, maybe with some editing?!  I sound so mean, and  like a total bitch.  I'm really not. But I am at the end of my rope dealing with the people that move into that house across the street.  I moved out of the ghetto, to the country, for a reason.  I don't want to be dealing with those issues anymore.  This letter is meant as a joke....maybe.....

Dear new neighbors,

Welcome to the neighborhood! We are writing this letter to let you know a little about the neighborhood and to help ensure that you become somebody that we like (we are pretty fun and nice if we like you,) and not somebody we will all equally hate with every ounce of our being. You may first read this and think that your neighbors are uptight assholes, and I assure you that we really are not!  We've had numerous bad experiences with the house you are moving into.  It may actually be cursed, sorry about that, but maybe YOU can break the curse! We are all rooting for you!  Here are the highlights of the last 3 tenants, so you know why we are writing this:  one who gave her "services" for a fee, one left her dirty diapers on her front yard and let her dog run in my yard to poop, and the last ones....where most of this comes from....they were obnoxious, loud, rude, took in borders, and that list goes on and on.  Please understand that we are all sick of drama from that house and really are hoping that YOU will be a cool person that can fit in. To ensure that everybody is on the same page, I figured I'd write a little list to help you out.  If you read this list and think "What the hell?  Why would they need to tell me not to do this?"  that may be a great sign.  These basic things were so foreign to the previous tenants that we decided to write them down, you know, in case you moved from someplace where respect wasn't common.

Music--We love music! In the summer, most times when we are all outside, there is some music playing on the radio.  It will be loud enough that I can hear it in my front yard or wherever I am.  It will not be loud enough that you can hear it inside your house, over the sound of your own TV, or so loud that it stops you from being able to read or hold a conversation with anybody.  I expect the same from your music. If you are unsure how loud the music coming from your house is, my suggestion is to walk outside, walk around the neighborhood, and LISTEN.  If I cannot sit in my front yard, reading a book, without hearing your music interrupting my every thought, your music is too damn loud!  Keep in mind that I may be understanding the first time, especially if you notice the problem, apologize, and correct it.   If you continually do it, remember that I have 1 car, 1 van, and 1 truck in front of my house.  I can easily turn them all on and drown out any and all noise coming from your house.  I assure you it won't be music you like either.  Let's not have to resort to that.

Respect--We are a friendly neighborhood, and kinda all wander from house to house in the summer, especially when the kids are out.  If you are the type to yell and scream over everything all day and night, please keep your windows and doors shut.  Same goes for when you are getting in and out of your car.  Remember that my bedroom is facing your parking spot.  If you yell every morning or night and wake me, I will make your life a living hell.  Nobody in the neighborhood wants to hear you swearing and yelling all day.  And we have little kids.  If we are outside, enjoying some fun time and the sounds coming from your house make us wonder if somebody's life is at risk or you are just being downright rude and obnoxious, it won't be good.  I may be nice the first time, and simply give you some sort of death stare and the opportunity to take your drama elsewhere.  I may just call the cops because I'm so sick of that behavior and don't want my days off ruined by you. We work hard, when we want to relax and enjoy our days off we would love if you were part of it, not ruining it.

Trash--YOU are in charge of ordering your own trash barrels, and paying the bill.  You are also in charge of picking up your trash barrels when the wind blows them around, or the trash guys leave them someplace other than their normal spot. If your barrels were full when they got blown around, be a decent human being and pick up the trash that blew everywhere too!  If you leave your barrels in the middle of the road, and your trash blowing around the road (and thus into a neighbor's yard) you are automatically moved to the black list.  It's pretty basic.  Take out trash bags from inside your house, tie them, place them into trash bin, close lid.  If you have any difficulty with this, I'm willing to show you. When we come home from work and our yard and driveway is filled with trash from your house, it makes us very angry.  Please don't be lazy, pick up after yourself, and we won't have this problem. 

Parking--Your designated spots are in front of YOUR house.  Keep in mind when parking that you are parking on a narrow road. Also keep in mind that there are driveways on each side of your parking spots.  Do not park your car in such a way that people cannot easily get in and out of their driveways.  The neighbors are all nice, but also one step away from crazy and if you continually do this, your car may get rammed repeatedly one day. Please don't even consider parking in front of the house across the street or in front of the gate at the end of the road.  Your car could get towed.  Note that if you become a nice neighbor and are liked, if you plan to have people over, you can ask to use our spots.  We will most likely let you if you are respectful to us.

Kids--The neighborhood has kids, and if you have children that can play well with others, they are encouraged to play!  Please do not just toss your kid out of the house when you see us outside with our children. Call first, stop over and ask if we mind watching your kid too, or just come outside with your kid.  It will not be my responsibility to ensure that your kid doesn't get hurt or gets home when we decide to go inside or leave.  Also keep in mind that if your kid is playing at my house and is a little shit, he/she will be reprimanded.  I promise you that I love children and would never harm one.  But I also believe in discipline and manners in children, so if your kids lack that, I'd suggest you teach them. If the kids are running around, and you'd like to bring out a treat that is super.  But please do not bring 50 sugar filled treats for 4 kids.  I don't want to deal with the sugar high or intense low that comes from it. It's also best if you are around when your kids are playing outside because I do not pay attention to tantrums or crying for attention.  If your kid does this as part of their normal behavior, I will send them home for you to deal with.  Now here's the thing....I sound mean. I'm not.  I love kids and although I'd like to ignore your child if you choose to ignore them, I will not.  I will make sure that somebody is there if I am leaving and make sure they get home. I will make sure your kid is safe and loved.  But I will also call DSS on your ass if you continually ignore your child or put them in harm's way, this includes screaming at your child or hitting them.  If I can hear your kid screaming like they are being harmed when I am in my house, every day, there is a problem in my opinion. Lastly, there is a lake!  Watch your children!  IF they are wandering around and not being watched they can fall into the lake and get hurt or drown. Let it be known that if you do work out and we like you, we can easily work it out so that if I'm outside you CAN call me and ask if your child can come play while you run errands or clean your house.  I will do that and won't mind at all.....if I like you and your child. If I don't, don't think I'm the babysitter. You will be wrong.

Clothing--I understand the summer is hot.  Please keep yourself and your visitors fully dressed when they are outside.  It may be normal for your family to walk around half naked with all their nastiness hanging out for the world to see, but it makes me vomit.  I don't want to see that. Nobody wants to see that. Dress appropriately outside of your house.

The Lake--We have access to the lake at MY HOUSE.  There is fishing, boating, and other fun things you can do.  As of right now, YOU do not have any access to the lake from my yard.  You are not to be in my yard, unless I invite you.  You cannot go and use the boats, or fish, even if you see other neighbor's doing it. I will decide if I'd like to extend that invite after your trial period.

So that's about all.  Hopefully, you work out and we get a neighbor that is awesome and can be part of our neighborhood gang.  It's all pretty basic stuff...respect for neighbors, respect for your home and the neighborhood (don't have tons of shit in your front yard!), no screaming obscenities every time you open your mouth.  And drive cautiously on these roads, the kids play on them and if you hit one of my children or the ones I love like my own, you will die.  Even if I did like you! 

Much love,
Your new neighbors

Thank you to all of you that have read this and sent me messages!  I really appreciate it.  I know many of you have tried to post comments on here and were having difficulty.  I'm not exactly sure why it's not working well for you, but I appreciate the effort. I know that you have to  click on a "profile" from the drop down menu under the comment box, before hitting post, so make sure you are doing that!  I recommend writing a comment, then copying it before you try to post it.  That way, if for some reason it disappears, you can simply paste it back and try again.  Thanks again! 

Video Games, Dressing Rooms, and 5 year old words of wisdom!

Hylan was here for a good part of last week because of school vacation.  We had a good time, and for the most part everything went well.  He got a bit sad when Justin finally came home on Friday after work and then got another call and had to leave again.  Hylan is so excited when his dad gets home and loves playing with him.  As much as I play and interact with him all day, I'm just not as cool as his dad.  It made me sad when Hylan cried because dad had to stop playing with him and go back to work.  He's at an age where he can't fully understand they "why" and I did my best to explain it.  During the day we had gone shopping and out to lunch, and I explained that for us to do those things, dad had to work and earn the money.  He kind of understood it, at least as much as he can, and calmed down.  Luckily Justin's call was close by and he wasn't gone very long.

I absolutely love talking with Hylan and spending our days together.  The things he says really make me smile and the innocence in what he says is beautiful.  And often hysterical. 

Here are a few favorites from Hylan:

While watching me put on makeup, which he does every day:  "You don't want to put on too much because then you look like a clown, and you don't want to look like a clown unless you have a funny hat too, right?"

He helps me pick out which colors to wear for eye shadow, which perfume for the day, and which outfit I should wear.  He also really prefers my hair when it's down and I put "Jello" in it because I look much prettier.  (His dad doesn't quite love the idea of him learning about makeup & hair so in depth, but I think the time and interaction together is most important, no matter what the topic is!)

While in the dressing room with me when I was shopping for a new pair of skinny jeans since mine are all too big now and aren't tight like they should be:   Loud Giggles, then "It's so funny how you have to jump up and down to get those pants on.  Giggle Giggle"

Thanks buddy, I was really hoping every other person in the dressing room knew that my pants wouldn't fit over my ass unless I hopped a bit to get them up!  But dammit, they look great and fit great and I bought them! Bonus points for the running commentary of the entire dressing room process.  People were wondering if the pattern on my underwear was cool (it was), if you could see my butt in the other mirror (you could), and if my tattoos looked colorful (they do!)

While telling me a story about how he knows that you shouldn't show your butt to anybody, he says, "I shouldn't show my butt in school right, because then I'd be abareassed?"  His version of embarrassed perfectly sounded like a bare assed and I tried like hell to not laugh and just help him say it correctly.  But he was actually correct in what he said too, he would be bare assed.

We had a fun week.  One day we went to my work and got a corn dog because he loves them.  Hylan is quite fascinated by my boss Brian, and he is somehow his new favorite person.  He told me that Brian is his best friend, and he loves him 100.  But have no fear, he loves me 107 because I take care of him!  Funny he said that though because as we were driving home with our corn dog, I was saying how big it was and was worried about him being able to eat it all.  He told me had plenty of room in his belly, which made me realize I hadn't fed him breakfast.  OOPS!  But look at that, I still got the extra 7 points for "taking care of him!" Even if I can't remember to feed him.

I'm still working on the video game battle.  I'm so up in the air about it.  I really think he's too young to have the DS attached to him at all times.  When he's at home with his mother, he can play video games all day and all night.  I don't like that idea and I feel like he should be doing other things that engage him more.  I try to have him look through books daily, color, and play other games besides just video games.  I want him to do things that help him learn and exercise his brain.  I use video games as a treat for him, or sometimes for me....when I need a break and need to accomplish something in peace.  I know he will leave me alone for a while if he's playing.  But that's also why I hate them so much.  He gets so entranced by them that he's oblivious to everything else.  Then I also contradict myself if Justin is home.  When he is here and plays video games WITH Hylan, I feel like that is better.  I don't know though.  To me, the fact that they are interacting with one another, showing each other things and strategizing, and just spending time together is better than when Hylan is playing alone.  I don't know though....I still would prefer if he was spending more time doing other activities.  I think it will be better in the summer.  We are pretty good about going outside still, even if it is cold, because well...he's a kid and kids play outside.   But it's been pretty cold, so we don't stay out as long as we do in the summer.  This leads to more time being stuck in the house, which isn't always as exciting.   I'm working on a solution that makes me feel comfortable.

That's my story for the day....Do you let your kids play video games?  Do you limit them? Do you have a funny story you want to share about your little ones?  Leave me a comment here and share it!  It's quite easy if you have a google account of any sort, and you can simply log in and share with me!

As usual, thanks for reading, sharing with your friends, and all of your comments, texts, and emails about my blog!  I'm trying to get everybody to comment here, on this blog, because when I go back and read them the comments make me smile too!  Give it a try!  Thanks!

Lack of cooking confidence

I haven't written anything in forever, but I'm going to try to do it weekly again.  Here we go....wish me luck.

This is a real day (or two) in my life when it comes to cooking.  I wish I could make this shit up.   For those of you that can cook, this will probably be painful to read!

During our late night shopping trip on Sunday, Justin gets the great idea that we (meaning I) make corned beef and cabbage.  I love corned beef!  Plus, it totally is within the lines of my 2 pan maximum rule about cooking anything.  I really prefer the crock-pot and could have done it this way, but I've made it before in a pot, with success, so I was thought I could do it again easily.

On Monday, I'm driving down the road pondering how I will make dinner, and I realize I cannot remember the most basic parts.  I do what I always do in these situations and call a friend.  Lucky for me, I have not one, but two friends that are chefs, and a few that are just amazing cooks,  so I have a good selection of people to consult.  I call my boss, Brian, and he briefs me.....put the meat in the pot, then the potatoes, carrots, and onions.  Save the cabbage for the last hour.  Ok, I got this.

"Brian, how long will it take?"

"How big is it Loriann?"

"Umm...it cost me about $16"

Yea...that's my answer.  He is kind enough to not repeat the question since I didn't actually answer it, or hang up on me and tell me I'm a lost cause and I really appreciate that!  He suggests about 4 hours.  I realize that it's already almost 4, so I go to liquor store, buy a bottle of wine, and put it off until tomorrow.   It was the smart thing to do.

Today, I'm ready.  I cut my veggies and have it all ready for the pot, which is missing.  After a little game of hide & seek, I find my pot and off I go.  I put everything in the order I was told, and put in some water.  Then I start to worry about HOW MUCH water I should put in. (I really do better with an exact amount, "you will need 3 cups,"  but things don't always work that way when cooking)  I put some water in and it's barely covering the potatoes, so I think I need more.  As usual, I doubt myself because of my lack of cooking confidence, so I take a picture and send it to Brian asking if I need more water.  Brian is working, and my cooking questions via text are actually not his #1 priority for some odd reason, so I don't get a reply right away.  Hmmm....what's a girl to do?

So I call Justin, or Smitty as he has been known as for years.    Not to be confused with my Justin, because he would be no help if he even did answer his phone.   Smitty finally calls me back (again, damn chefs more concerned with running their restaurants than my basic cooking questions!) and tells me I should add more water and I run what I do know by him to (again) make sure I have this right.  Off I go to begin this process.

Next step, bring to a boil, then reduce to simmer for 4 hours.  Ok, I think I got this from here on out.  Except I don't because after it starts boiling, I wonder exactly what number on the stove dial will equal "simmer."  These things should be labeled for the task, not some random fucking number! So I have to make another call.  Being that Smitty & Brian are actually working and cooking far more complex food for tons of people, I decide to call Craig.  He can cook very well, so he will know.  But he's at his AA meeting, and my cooking questions don't trump that either.  Ugh.

Finally, Craig calls me, we talk, and  I turn the stove from 4 where I originally put it, down to 3, then we settle on 2 with a cover for the next 4 hours.  I am directed to NOT REMOVE THE COVER  multiple times.  (We lived together, he knows I will open it, look at it, stir it, and whatever else repeatedly!)  I promise I will not touch the damn pot, cover, or anything in the kitchen until 5:00 and I'm all set.  Dinner is in the works, all of my questions are answered, and the house smells good. Success. Finally.  After consulting 3 people to make one very simple dish!

Sadly, this is just a normal day in my life when I make something other than what I make regularly enough that I remember how to do it myself with confidence.  I wish I could just find a book for this. Although a cookbook is helpful because it tells me how long to cook things and at what temperature, it's not really what I need. I can follow a recipe, although I don't really enjoy that.  I use them as guidelines and kinda do my own thing, which usually works out well. What I need is a book to read about the very basic things about cooking.  The stuff your mom taught you, that I wasn't taught.  Or maybe a book about learning to have a little more confidence in yourself when cooking.  That might help too since I know a lot of this stuff, but I don't have enough faith in my knowledge to do it without using all of my "phone a friends."

Oh well....dinner is on, it smells great and I know it will taste great too!  The end result will be exactly what I wanted, even if starting it takes far more effort and phone calls than are necessary. I guess we can't be confident in everything we do all the time!  And I'm really working on this, and getting better every time.  One day, I plan to make something I've never made before without having to call a single person!  That is my goal!!

Is there a class for using a fridge correctly??

I understand that in the whole scheme of life, this isn't the biggest issue in the world.  I know that people have "real problems" because I do too.  But damn, nothing frustrates me quite like the damn fridge!

I'm about to start labeling the damn shelves. I just took everything out and organized it for the gazillionth time.  Basically, anytime we buy food, or have leftovers, or anytime Justin touches the damn thing it needs to be organized. AGAIN.  I've highly considered taking a picture of what it looks like organized, where things go and how they fit, just for reference to stick to the door.  Is that going too far?  Who knows.  I may let you know what happens because I really might do it.  


Here's what really gets me angry....LEFTOVERS.  If I consider throwing away 2 bites of mashed potatoes, or something that's been in there for 5 days, it may be the end of the world.  No matter what it is, or what the situation, Justin will say that he was planning to eat it.  He's always planning to eat it.  Tomorrow. Like the spaghetti and meatballs I made Friday, in the heat, after hearing whining for them for 3 days.  Guess where they are?  Taking up precious fridge space.  The large bucket of KFC (he eats it...don't ask why, who the hell knows) that has been moved 30 times in 2 days was nice too.  The ONE piece of chicken in that large bucket was awesome.  Almost awesome enough that it got thrown in the trash instead of wrapped in a piece of saran wrap, thus saving TONS of space.  But I can't throw it away because he's going to eat it "tomorrow." Yep.  
Another great one is the T-Bone steaks that have been in the freezer for 8 months.  Let's be serious, they have freezer burn by this point and I wouldn't eat them for money.  BUT, Justin took them out to defrost....about 10 days ago.  And soon I will throw them away, and get far more precious space.  But I can't yet, because he is going to eat them tomorrow.  And they are still good.  In his crazy head. 


As I sit here, with my fridge organized to the point that things are where they go and the chance you will get hit with something when you open the door is almost 100% gone, I know he will come home soon.   I know that he will take out his lunch (that HE NEEDED SO BAD), and put it all back in the fridge, in the very first spot he sees.  And my organization will have been a waste of time. 


And now that I got this all out, I may not kill him for doing this.  Plus, he has tons of food left to eat tomorrow...so I can't hurt him.  YET.

That was mean...well deserved...but mean...

I feel guilty.  I know I really shouldn't, but I do.  And this whole post may be confusing to some of you newer readers...there's a post called Mommy Dearest that may help clarify a bit, if you get lost.  The fact that I'm all sorts of frustrated right now isn't helping my writing, so good luck keeping this all straight!

Here's the deal....

First of all, mom is still in the psych ward.  The nursing home she was in will not take her back because her behavior is too distrubtive & mean.  They are not equipped for that type of person.  They are not a hospital for behavioral problems, they are a nursing home.  So she's going to some other place, I guess in Worcester maybe, in which they are better equpped to handle her.  That is, IF she ever gets out of the psych ward.  They are trying to regulate her medication and make her somewhat stable.

She's called me a few times, all weepy and whiny.  Ive tried to talk to her a little bit, explain that her behavior isn't acceptable anywhere, etc.  But in her head, she's so screwed up that it makes no sense to her.  I have better luck talking to a 4 year old.  And I know that she has actual problems, I'm not denying that.  But I also know that she's always been this way, before her stroke too.  It's hard because the sane logical part of me wants to just ignore it....but I'm also smart enough to know that some of it  she just doesn't understand either.   It's sad and I feel guitly sometimes.  But I also feel that she's been spoiled her entire life and therefore she knows she can treat the family and everyone else like this....she always has and it was never a problem.  Except for empty threats and fights with my grampa, nothing changed and nothing was held against her.

My gram told me today that she went to visit my mom (after saying she wouldn't ever again!!! grr), and my mom was having one of her nasty, mean fits.  She was swearing at my gram, saying she hated her, and just being as awful as she always is.  Then she threw a bowl of soup at my gram.  DID YOU READ THAT?  Yea, she did that.  My gram told me all of this and honestly, the first thing I did was yelled at her.  She said she wouldn't go back.  But she went back.  Therefore, just reinforcing to my mother that she can treat people like shit and they will still visit.   But it pissed me off.   A lot.  And I have a bunch of shit in my own life to deal with, so I was irritated when I got off the phone.

When she normally calls me, she just talks and sulks a little then hangs up.  She's on all sorts of meds, so she's all loopy.  My gram is shocked that she's never starting swearing at me, but I'm not.  I think she knows in her fucked up little head, that if she did, I won't talk to her ever again.  I've done it for years.  I haven't seen her for years.  She treated me like shit my entire life and I don't need her in my life.  She's done nothing but hurt me.  But I also know that it's probably scary for her right now.  I know that and therefore if she calls, I will generally talk to her for a few minutes. 

Today was a little different....coincidentally, right after I got off the phone with my gram, my mom called from the hospital.  Apparently, her meds are doing ok because she almost sounded normal. But I was unhappy that she threw soup at my gram.  And I had to ask her about it.  Perhaps not my smartest move, being that I'm not in a great mood as it is....but I did anyway.  Her answer was, "I was in a bad mood." 

Which set off the little ticking time bomb inside of me....

I just yelled forever....explained that I'm in a bad mood right now and I have yet to hit, punch, throw something at someone, threaten their lives, or anything else. We get in bad moods, and unlike her, most people actually have a reason and real stress that causes it, and we fucking deal.   And I was brutally honest. She then started weeping....and said she'd never call me again....and I told her that line doesn't work on me anymore.  The crying and "fine then, you don't want to talk to me anymore" guilt trip she's so good at, is just old news to me.  I told her to do everybody a favor and never call any of them again.  I told her she needs to grow up, learn to treat people with respect, and IF she can ever accomplish that, THEN she can call again.   I reminded her that she did this to herself, that she is the one that has pushed everybody away.  And I told her that if my gram every goes there again, and I find out, it's not going to be good.   I believe it was worded something like this..."If my gram ever considers visiting you again, I will tell her that I won't ever speak to her again.  And I'm nice to her.  You are rude.  I will win. Don't fuck with her again or you will deal with me."  The one thing I have over everybody is that I dealt with her forever....and I've never (since I've been old enough at least), allowed her to treat me badly.  I won't take it.  I don't make empty threats....if I say it, I will do it.  She knows that.

And to be honest, I don't care if she calls again.  If she needs to talk to someone, I'd rather it be me.  I don't want her calling my gram.  I really try to be understanding to a point...and I don't want to be as mean as I have to be.  But she is a very mean person and it's hard.

So the moral of this story....I guess she won again. This woman that calls herself my mother in all her crazy, mean, and selfishness just won. Every awful thing she's done to me just came over me and made me blinded with anger.  She pissed me off enough that I yelled at her.  I got to her level.  I was MEAN.  I was brutally honest and harsh, and even though it was the truth, I was very mean about it.   And I don't want to be like that.  I don't like that she can ruin my fucking day.  I don't like that she's so mean to my gram.  I feel awful for the nurses who are saints and somehow deal with her everyday.  I don't know how they do it.

But I'm going to let it go...because she's not worth ruining my day....which is why I write this all out and let all of you read it.  I feel better when I get it all out...and I can move on and enjoy this beautiful day.  And that's what I'm off to do. 

Thanks for reading my therapy session....this was free!!!!

Well hi there...it's been a while

The last few weeks weren't too great so I didn't write much.  Who wants to read about me whining about life??  You all have your own problems so I just haven't posted anything.  I'm a little better now...not that things are better, I'm just accepting them better, so I can write again! Yay.

I have nothing too exciting to write...but I will comment on a few things and I will share a little bit...

First off, ObamaCare. Oh my fucking god.  I love that everybody on Facebook is suddenly a genius.  I love that people write what they believe are in-depth and really "deep" status' about this and how it's going to ruin the country and blah blah blah.  Here's my issue....I highly doubt that you, Mr. Pothead, who generally only writes about how he "can't wait to get high" actually read all 920 (or however many) pages of this.  It's fine to have an opinion, but I would think that people would be smarter than to simple hear what "their" side says about it, and take it as fact.  If we aren't old enough or smart enough to know that everything political is skewed to meet the needs of the party sharing it, then that's just sad.  But the other thing is that I don't get why people want to fight about this and start what they call "discussions" on everybody else's pages.  Grow the fuck up.  If you have your opinion and your beliefs, good for you....but let's not waste everybody's time while you go on and on about how we are dumb if we don't agree.  You look like a jackass, an ignorant jackass.  If you can't understand that differences in opinion and beliefs are what this country is made of, then you probably can't understand the actual issue you are arguing about either.   Guess what???  I don't get it all either....I've read things from both sides, and the "neutral" side.  I still don't understand it all, and I'm sure as hell not claiming to.  But I'm also not nagging you to believe the one sentence I did read and agree with.  Don't do it to me.  It's a great way to piss me off.

Happy I got that off my chest....

Moving on...

My well is not working again!  During a heatwave!  Want to come over?? I SMELL AWESOME!!  Yea, baby wipes are my shower, but whatever, it's cool.  NOT.  The freakin' thing keeps losing it's prime.  Do you know what that means??  Well, essentially, the lines keep getting filled with air, and not water.  Although a faucet is nice when it shoots out air, it's not nearly as cool as when it shoots out water.  We've primed it...again and again....we can get water for 2 mins! Woo Hoo.  Then it's gone.  I'd get as far as putting some shampoo in my hair.  IF THAT. It's awesome.  So finally, the landlord is going to call a well company!  Woo Hoo.   Too bad it's Saturday, and this isn't happening until Monday.  Hopefully it's something simple....a hole in the line that's easily accessible, or something.  Who knows.  I miss water.  I miss showers.  Justin misses having clean work clothes! I miss not having to use a bottle of water when I brush my teeth.  This reminds me of camping...and also why I'm more of a fan of "hotel-ing."

And for my amusing story....

Justin cracks me up...most of you don't know him well enough to ever hear him say some of the shit he says that absolutely makes me laugh out loud. So I will share a story.

The other morning, we were watching the news before he went to work.   There was a story about some survey in which women rated which celebrity they would most likely have an affair with.  Anyway, it was Tom Brady on the list and some others...I mean, Johnny Depp was NOT #1, so clearly, they didn't ask my opinion.  But anyway, this is how the conversation goes afterward:

Justin:  "What the hell, why didn't they do women?"

Me:      "I don't know babe. Who is your #1 you would cheat with?"

Justin: "Oh, there's a few, I can't just pick one."

Me:      "Ok, well give me your top three then"

Justin:  "I can't remember their names...you know that girl..ummm..."

Me:      "You know, you have a MUCH better chance of hookin' up with a broad if you know her name"

Justin:   "No, I just need to get her alone in a room and I'll do just fine."

Me:      "Umm...ok, creepy guy that crawls in the window at night...."

So that's all for now kids....enjoy the heat and stuff.....enjoy your showers, laundry, rinsing dishes, and all that good shit.  :-)