Video Games, Dressing Rooms, and 5 year old words of wisdom!

Hylan was here for a good part of last week because of school vacation.  We had a good time, and for the most part everything went well.  He got a bit sad when Justin finally came home on Friday after work and then got another call and had to leave again.  Hylan is so excited when his dad gets home and loves playing with him.  As much as I play and interact with him all day, I'm just not as cool as his dad.  It made me sad when Hylan cried because dad had to stop playing with him and go back to work.  He's at an age where he can't fully understand they "why" and I did my best to explain it.  During the day we had gone shopping and out to lunch, and I explained that for us to do those things, dad had to work and earn the money.  He kind of understood it, at least as much as he can, and calmed down.  Luckily Justin's call was close by and he wasn't gone very long.

I absolutely love talking with Hylan and spending our days together.  The things he says really make me smile and the innocence in what he says is beautiful.  And often hysterical. 

Here are a few favorites from Hylan:

While watching me put on makeup, which he does every day:  "You don't want to put on too much because then you look like a clown, and you don't want to look like a clown unless you have a funny hat too, right?"

He helps me pick out which colors to wear for eye shadow, which perfume for the day, and which outfit I should wear.  He also really prefers my hair when it's down and I put "Jello" in it because I look much prettier.  (His dad doesn't quite love the idea of him learning about makeup & hair so in depth, but I think the time and interaction together is most important, no matter what the topic is!)

While in the dressing room with me when I was shopping for a new pair of skinny jeans since mine are all too big now and aren't tight like they should be:   Loud Giggles, then "It's so funny how you have to jump up and down to get those pants on.  Giggle Giggle"

Thanks buddy, I was really hoping every other person in the dressing room knew that my pants wouldn't fit over my ass unless I hopped a bit to get them up!  But dammit, they look great and fit great and I bought them! Bonus points for the running commentary of the entire dressing room process.  People were wondering if the pattern on my underwear was cool (it was), if you could see my butt in the other mirror (you could), and if my tattoos looked colorful (they do!)

While telling me a story about how he knows that you shouldn't show your butt to anybody, he says, "I shouldn't show my butt in school right, because then I'd be abareassed?"  His version of embarrassed perfectly sounded like a bare assed and I tried like hell to not laugh and just help him say it correctly.  But he was actually correct in what he said too, he would be bare assed.

We had a fun week.  One day we went to my work and got a corn dog because he loves them.  Hylan is quite fascinated by my boss Brian, and he is somehow his new favorite person.  He told me that Brian is his best friend, and he loves him 100.  But have no fear, he loves me 107 because I take care of him!  Funny he said that though because as we were driving home with our corn dog, I was saying how big it was and was worried about him being able to eat it all.  He told me had plenty of room in his belly, which made me realize I hadn't fed him breakfast.  OOPS!  But look at that, I still got the extra 7 points for "taking care of him!" Even if I can't remember to feed him.

I'm still working on the video game battle.  I'm so up in the air about it.  I really think he's too young to have the DS attached to him at all times.  When he's at home with his mother, he can play video games all day and all night.  I don't like that idea and I feel like he should be doing other things that engage him more.  I try to have him look through books daily, color, and play other games besides just video games.  I want him to do things that help him learn and exercise his brain.  I use video games as a treat for him, or sometimes for me....when I need a break and need to accomplish something in peace.  I know he will leave me alone for a while if he's playing.  But that's also why I hate them so much.  He gets so entranced by them that he's oblivious to everything else.  Then I also contradict myself if Justin is home.  When he is here and plays video games WITH Hylan, I feel like that is better.  I don't know though.  To me, the fact that they are interacting with one another, showing each other things and strategizing, and just spending time together is better than when Hylan is playing alone.  I don't know though....I still would prefer if he was spending more time doing other activities.  I think it will be better in the summer.  We are pretty good about going outside still, even if it is cold, because well...he's a kid and kids play outside.   But it's been pretty cold, so we don't stay out as long as we do in the summer.  This leads to more time being stuck in the house, which isn't always as exciting.   I'm working on a solution that makes me feel comfortable.

That's my story for the day....Do you let your kids play video games?  Do you limit them? Do you have a funny story you want to share about your little ones?  Leave me a comment here and share it!  It's quite easy if you have a google account of any sort, and you can simply log in and share with me!

As usual, thanks for reading, sharing with your friends, and all of your comments, texts, and emails about my blog!  I'm trying to get everybody to comment here, on this blog, because when I go back and read them the comments make me smile too!  Give it a try!  Thanks!

Moving forward.....maybe?

As you may or may not know, Justin has a son, Hylan from a previous relationship.  He's a great little 4 year old, but Justin doesn't get to see him very often.  And I've heard all the bad stories about his ex and I've witnessed some of the text or messages that she's left him. It's an all around sad situation because there is a little boy in the middle.  Being that I grew up in the middle of a similar situation, it hurts me to see.  I feel like neither one of them is willing to compromise and therefore they don't get anywhere.  But I also know that everybody has stories, and honestly, I don't care to be in the middle of them.  I don't really listen when people are going on and on about her because I wasn't there and therefore, I know that parts could easily be missing from the story.  That's how I treat everyone....or try to....stories are just stories to me.  Unless I saw it myself first hand, I'm not going to form my opinion based on them.  So to me, I tried to go into this was a clean slate.
This weekend, I decided to give it a try.  For me to talk to Jenn is easier because I don't have all the emotional baggage involved.  I talked with her for a long time and explained that we'd love to have him over for a night, or just the day if that's all she was comfortable with.  I heard every bad thing that's ever happened between her and Justin and although I didn't care to, it was part of the process, which is fine.  I believe that there are two sides to every story and I also believe that everybody makes mistakes.  But to me, the only way to move on is to let the past go and look forward.  So that was the stance I took.  


I could understand that she wanted to meet me as I was going to be around her son, and if it were me in that situation, I'd want to meet the other person too.  So I met with her, and talked to her and got her to allow Hylan to come visit for what turned out to be Saturday afternoon through Monday afternoon.  I showed her his bedroom, and that the house was safe.  I assured her that I'd keep in touch to let her know how he was doing.  And I did.  I sent her a few texts telling her what he was doing.  I sent a few pictures of him having fun. I let Hylan call her if he said he missed her.  And everything went really well.  I went and picked him up and also was the only one home when she came to get him.  To me, it made the most sense since Justin  & her don't accomplish much except fighting.  


He's a great little boy and although I've heard about the past, I've also found that everybody will agree that she did a damn good job raising her son.  He's incredibly polite, listens well, eats veggies and fruit for snacks by choice, and is very smart and imaginative. I was a little worried that he'd be scared or wouldn't have fun since we don't have a kid set up at our house, but it all went well.  Justin took him fishing and he caught a fish! We rented movies at night before bedtime.  He had fun playing in the yard and just running around exploring everything, and he made friends with the two kids across the street who came over and played with him.  
And yes, I was paranoid the entire time.  He'd run on the concrete patio and I had the visions of him cracking his head open as I once did.  But I'd ask him to come to the grass and play and he would.  I was worried that when it was time to eat, he would be fussy and not eat anything that we had.  I was also wrong.  He ate dinner with us and even asked for more broccoli!  I was worried that there was going to be a tantrum at some point, but he never once even came close.  Bedtime scared me too.  Obviously he was in a new place and I was worried he would be scared to sleep, or just not want to because he was excited.  But he had calmed down during the movie, and at bed time he jumped right in bed with his little animals all around him and fell asleep.  He was sleeping in what was my old bed.  A big queen size bed.  I was scared because it's a really high bed.  So to calm my own nerves, I took off couch cushions and put them on the floor around the bed.  But he barely even moved from his spot! And he didn't wake up at 6 am as I had feared, which was another nice bonus! (Note that the first night Justin & I whispered for the rest of the night and every noise we heard we tip toed over to his room to check on him!!)


I was shocked and very pleased with how well everything went.  I was worried there would be some awkward moments, but there weren't.  He told me stories and talked about his life and his mom.  It was really nice to see him and I enjoyed it all.  It was made clear that discussing anything bad between her & Justin wasn't ok with me. Sometimes we had to come up with creative answers when he'd ask why he couldn't come over more.  I hope that he can, and that's what I told him.  


Honestly, he's a great little boy and I hope that this is a step in the right direction.  We enjoyed having him around and want to buy some toys for him, but it's hard right now because we don't know if he can come back.  I hope he can.  I hope that everybody can move forward because no matter what the situation, I can guarantee that she could use a break sometimes.  He's full of energy and I was exhausted after having him here.  I know that she must get exhausted too.  And we can give her that break.  She can have some free time, go out, have fun, do things that aren't kid friendly, and we can get to see Hylan.  It seems a win for everybody.  I really hope it works out.