This really happened! Ugh...some people!

Conveinence stores...ahhh...sometimes the name is a blatant lie.  


I run a few errands today, nothing big, as I really wasn't in the mood to be out.  But I did want a new book & an iced coffee, so off to the library I went.  On a side note, I got Chelsea Handler's "Bang Bang."  I've only read 2 chapters, but so far it's hysterical.  Being that "Are you there Vodka, it's me Chelsea" was so good, I think this will be too.  But back to the point.  I run into the Mobile/McDonald's combo on the way home.  McDonald's went fairly well.  Except watching the manager, with his "food prep" gloves on, opening a door, walking into the "dining area" to call more staff over....then going back to making food with the same gloves on.  Eww.  But that's a different issue, for a different day.  Lucky for me, I only get their iced coffee.  Which is damn good if I might say so myself!
Off to grab cigarettes I go....in & out.  Or so I thought.  Below is what happened, while I'm in line, right behind this woman, and I swear on my life, this is really how it went down.  I wish I could have made this shit up!:


Clueless Woman (CW from here on out):  
"How do I pay for gas with this??"  (She's holding a speedpass)


Clueless Cashier (CC from her on out):
 "You can pay at the pump with it."


CW:
 "Yes but how?"


CC:
 "Umm, I'm not really sure, I mean, I've never used it."  (Note, he's a young kid, and I highly doubt he has a credit card yet...it's not like he posesses it, like clueless woman!  But he does work there.)


CW: 
 "Well, what do I do? How do I do it?" 


CC: 
 "There should be instructions on there, or I can do it here for you."


At this point, the line is now 6 people deep, and I'm about to pump this ladies gas for her. She is not at all grasping the concept and everybody in line is annoyed with her stupidity.  I do not have a speedpass, but I have pumped gas and there are very clear and simple instructions, so I know how to do it.  I can't keep my mouth shut any longer.


Me:
 "Just hold it up to the pegasus and it will light up, when it lights up, you are ready to pump your gas.  There are also instructions on it."


CW:
 "Yes, but it's says "Please pay inside first."


Me: 
(mentally: don't kill her, don't kill her!)  "It says that because if you are paying cash, you have to pay inside first.  You are using your speedpass (which she refers to as 'this thing'), which is just like using a credit card, therefore, you don't have to pay inside because you are paying first.  You are just doing it with credit.


CW:
" But I want to use "this thing," and waves it up, like I don't know what she's talking about.


Random guy behind me:
 "Miss, she's right, just hold it up.  It's very easy.  She's right, try it."  (We are all going to kill her)


The woman is still staring at us, clearly clueless, as though we don't know what we are dong!


CC:
"I can use that here, and you can pay first if you'd like."


CW:
"But I want to use "this thing"


CC:
"You can.  Just tell me how much you want to put in"


CW:
"I don't know.  I want to fill it."


CC:
"Well you need to tell me an amount."


CW:
"Fine, just $20 I guess.  I think that will fill it."  (Apparently she doesn't know gas prices, or just doesn't need any gas and wanted to waste everybody's time for the fuck of it.)


CC:
"What pump are you on?"


CW:
"I don't know." (And she has this look on her face like this is an absurd question)


CC (after figuring it out):
"Just swipe the speedpass over the spot on the credit card machine."


CW:
"But I want to use this thing!!!"


CC:
"You are, and you can.  Just swipe it over until it lights up."  (She starts waving her speedpass over the screen on the credit card machine, which obviously isn't doing anything.)


Me:
"Miss, right here (and I show her), see the pegasus, we will wave it over."  Somehow, I did this without strangling her, because as you probably know, I'm not patient at all and I was really ready to kill her!


Woo Hoo.  It lights up!  And it's paid.  


And 10 minutes of my day (and numerous other people's) day are wasted!  
After she walks out, the rest of us collectively sigh, and all begin discussing this.  It seems that she was the only one that was clueless, as everybody else easily understood how these worked, even if they didn't have one.  What the hell lady?!!!!  I just hope next time she goes out in public, her life coach is with her!