Video Games, Dressing Rooms, and 5 year old words of wisdom!

Hylan was here for a good part of last week because of school vacation.  We had a good time, and for the most part everything went well.  He got a bit sad when Justin finally came home on Friday after work and then got another call and had to leave again.  Hylan is so excited when his dad gets home and loves playing with him.  As much as I play and interact with him all day, I'm just not as cool as his dad.  It made me sad when Hylan cried because dad had to stop playing with him and go back to work.  He's at an age where he can't fully understand they "why" and I did my best to explain it.  During the day we had gone shopping and out to lunch, and I explained that for us to do those things, dad had to work and earn the money.  He kind of understood it, at least as much as he can, and calmed down.  Luckily Justin's call was close by and he wasn't gone very long.

I absolutely love talking with Hylan and spending our days together.  The things he says really make me smile and the innocence in what he says is beautiful.  And often hysterical. 

Here are a few favorites from Hylan:

While watching me put on makeup, which he does every day:  "You don't want to put on too much because then you look like a clown, and you don't want to look like a clown unless you have a funny hat too, right?"

He helps me pick out which colors to wear for eye shadow, which perfume for the day, and which outfit I should wear.  He also really prefers my hair when it's down and I put "Jello" in it because I look much prettier.  (His dad doesn't quite love the idea of him learning about makeup & hair so in depth, but I think the time and interaction together is most important, no matter what the topic is!)

While in the dressing room with me when I was shopping for a new pair of skinny jeans since mine are all too big now and aren't tight like they should be:   Loud Giggles, then "It's so funny how you have to jump up and down to get those pants on.  Giggle Giggle"

Thanks buddy, I was really hoping every other person in the dressing room knew that my pants wouldn't fit over my ass unless I hopped a bit to get them up!  But dammit, they look great and fit great and I bought them! Bonus points for the running commentary of the entire dressing room process.  People were wondering if the pattern on my underwear was cool (it was), if you could see my butt in the other mirror (you could), and if my tattoos looked colorful (they do!)

While telling me a story about how he knows that you shouldn't show your butt to anybody, he says, "I shouldn't show my butt in school right, because then I'd be abareassed?"  His version of embarrassed perfectly sounded like a bare assed and I tried like hell to not laugh and just help him say it correctly.  But he was actually correct in what he said too, he would be bare assed.

We had a fun week.  One day we went to my work and got a corn dog because he loves them.  Hylan is quite fascinated by my boss Brian, and he is somehow his new favorite person.  He told me that Brian is his best friend, and he loves him 100.  But have no fear, he loves me 107 because I take care of him!  Funny he said that though because as we were driving home with our corn dog, I was saying how big it was and was worried about him being able to eat it all.  He told me had plenty of room in his belly, which made me realize I hadn't fed him breakfast.  OOPS!  But look at that, I still got the extra 7 points for "taking care of him!" Even if I can't remember to feed him.

I'm still working on the video game battle.  I'm so up in the air about it.  I really think he's too young to have the DS attached to him at all times.  When he's at home with his mother, he can play video games all day and all night.  I don't like that idea and I feel like he should be doing other things that engage him more.  I try to have him look through books daily, color, and play other games besides just video games.  I want him to do things that help him learn and exercise his brain.  I use video games as a treat for him, or sometimes for me....when I need a break and need to accomplish something in peace.  I know he will leave me alone for a while if he's playing.  But that's also why I hate them so much.  He gets so entranced by them that he's oblivious to everything else.  Then I also contradict myself if Justin is home.  When he is here and plays video games WITH Hylan, I feel like that is better.  I don't know though.  To me, the fact that they are interacting with one another, showing each other things and strategizing, and just spending time together is better than when Hylan is playing alone.  I don't know though....I still would prefer if he was spending more time doing other activities.  I think it will be better in the summer.  We are pretty good about going outside still, even if it is cold, because well...he's a kid and kids play outside.   But it's been pretty cold, so we don't stay out as long as we do in the summer.  This leads to more time being stuck in the house, which isn't always as exciting.   I'm working on a solution that makes me feel comfortable.

That's my story for the day....Do you let your kids play video games?  Do you limit them? Do you have a funny story you want to share about your little ones?  Leave me a comment here and share it!  It's quite easy if you have a google account of any sort, and you can simply log in and share with me!

As usual, thanks for reading, sharing with your friends, and all of your comments, texts, and emails about my blog!  I'm trying to get everybody to comment here, on this blog, because when I go back and read them the comments make me smile too!  Give it a try!  Thanks!

Lack of cooking confidence

I haven't written anything in forever, but I'm going to try to do it weekly again.  Here we go....wish me luck.

This is a real day (or two) in my life when it comes to cooking.  I wish I could make this shit up.   For those of you that can cook, this will probably be painful to read!

During our late night shopping trip on Sunday, Justin gets the great idea that we (meaning I) make corned beef and cabbage.  I love corned beef!  Plus, it totally is within the lines of my 2 pan maximum rule about cooking anything.  I really prefer the crock-pot and could have done it this way, but I've made it before in a pot, with success, so I was thought I could do it again easily.

On Monday, I'm driving down the road pondering how I will make dinner, and I realize I cannot remember the most basic parts.  I do what I always do in these situations and call a friend.  Lucky for me, I have not one, but two friends that are chefs, and a few that are just amazing cooks,  so I have a good selection of people to consult.  I call my boss, Brian, and he briefs me.....put the meat in the pot, then the potatoes, carrots, and onions.  Save the cabbage for the last hour.  Ok, I got this.

"Brian, how long will it take?"

"How big is it Loriann?"

"Umm...it cost me about $16"

Yea...that's my answer.  He is kind enough to not repeat the question since I didn't actually answer it, or hang up on me and tell me I'm a lost cause and I really appreciate that!  He suggests about 4 hours.  I realize that it's already almost 4, so I go to liquor store, buy a bottle of wine, and put it off until tomorrow.   It was the smart thing to do.

Today, I'm ready.  I cut my veggies and have it all ready for the pot, which is missing.  After a little game of hide & seek, I find my pot and off I go.  I put everything in the order I was told, and put in some water.  Then I start to worry about HOW MUCH water I should put in. (I really do better with an exact amount, "you will need 3 cups,"  but things don't always work that way when cooking)  I put some water in and it's barely covering the potatoes, so I think I need more.  As usual, I doubt myself because of my lack of cooking confidence, so I take a picture and send it to Brian asking if I need more water.  Brian is working, and my cooking questions via text are actually not his #1 priority for some odd reason, so I don't get a reply right away.  Hmmm....what's a girl to do?

So I call Justin, or Smitty as he has been known as for years.    Not to be confused with my Justin, because he would be no help if he even did answer his phone.   Smitty finally calls me back (again, damn chefs more concerned with running their restaurants than my basic cooking questions!) and tells me I should add more water and I run what I do know by him to (again) make sure I have this right.  Off I go to begin this process.

Next step, bring to a boil, then reduce to simmer for 4 hours.  Ok, I think I got this from here on out.  Except I don't because after it starts boiling, I wonder exactly what number on the stove dial will equal "simmer."  These things should be labeled for the task, not some random fucking number! So I have to make another call.  Being that Smitty & Brian are actually working and cooking far more complex food for tons of people, I decide to call Craig.  He can cook very well, so he will know.  But he's at his AA meeting, and my cooking questions don't trump that either.  Ugh.

Finally, Craig calls me, we talk, and  I turn the stove from 4 where I originally put it, down to 3, then we settle on 2 with a cover for the next 4 hours.  I am directed to NOT REMOVE THE COVER  multiple times.  (We lived together, he knows I will open it, look at it, stir it, and whatever else repeatedly!)  I promise I will not touch the damn pot, cover, or anything in the kitchen until 5:00 and I'm all set.  Dinner is in the works, all of my questions are answered, and the house smells good. Success. Finally.  After consulting 3 people to make one very simple dish!

Sadly, this is just a normal day in my life when I make something other than what I make regularly enough that I remember how to do it myself with confidence.  I wish I could just find a book for this. Although a cookbook is helpful because it tells me how long to cook things and at what temperature, it's not really what I need. I can follow a recipe, although I don't really enjoy that.  I use them as guidelines and kinda do my own thing, which usually works out well. What I need is a book to read about the very basic things about cooking.  The stuff your mom taught you, that I wasn't taught.  Or maybe a book about learning to have a little more confidence in yourself when cooking.  That might help too since I know a lot of this stuff, but I don't have enough faith in my knowledge to do it without using all of my "phone a friends."

Oh well....dinner is on, it smells great and I know it will taste great too!  The end result will be exactly what I wanted, even if starting it takes far more effort and phone calls than are necessary. I guess we can't be confident in everything we do all the time!  And I'm really working on this, and getting better every time.  One day, I plan to make something I've never made before without having to call a single person!  That is my goal!!

Is there a class for using a fridge correctly??

I understand that in the whole scheme of life, this isn't the biggest issue in the world.  I know that people have "real problems" because I do too.  But damn, nothing frustrates me quite like the damn fridge!

I'm about to start labeling the damn shelves. I just took everything out and organized it for the gazillionth time.  Basically, anytime we buy food, or have leftovers, or anytime Justin touches the damn thing it needs to be organized. AGAIN.  I've highly considered taking a picture of what it looks like organized, where things go and how they fit, just for reference to stick to the door.  Is that going too far?  Who knows.  I may let you know what happens because I really might do it.  


Here's what really gets me angry....LEFTOVERS.  If I consider throwing away 2 bites of mashed potatoes, or something that's been in there for 5 days, it may be the end of the world.  No matter what it is, or what the situation, Justin will say that he was planning to eat it.  He's always planning to eat it.  Tomorrow. Like the spaghetti and meatballs I made Friday, in the heat, after hearing whining for them for 3 days.  Guess where they are?  Taking up precious fridge space.  The large bucket of KFC (he eats it...don't ask why, who the hell knows) that has been moved 30 times in 2 days was nice too.  The ONE piece of chicken in that large bucket was awesome.  Almost awesome enough that it got thrown in the trash instead of wrapped in a piece of saran wrap, thus saving TONS of space.  But I can't throw it away because he's going to eat it "tomorrow." Yep.  
Another great one is the T-Bone steaks that have been in the freezer for 8 months.  Let's be serious, they have freezer burn by this point and I wouldn't eat them for money.  BUT, Justin took them out to defrost....about 10 days ago.  And soon I will throw them away, and get far more precious space.  But I can't yet, because he is going to eat them tomorrow.  And they are still good.  In his crazy head. 


As I sit here, with my fridge organized to the point that things are where they go and the chance you will get hit with something when you open the door is almost 100% gone, I know he will come home soon.   I know that he will take out his lunch (that HE NEEDED SO BAD), and put it all back in the fridge, in the very first spot he sees.  And my organization will have been a waste of time. 


And now that I got this all out, I may not kill him for doing this.  Plus, he has tons of food left to eat tomorrow...so I can't hurt him.  YET.

That was mean...well deserved...but mean...

I feel guilty.  I know I really shouldn't, but I do.  And this whole post may be confusing to some of you newer readers...there's a post called Mommy Dearest that may help clarify a bit, if you get lost.  The fact that I'm all sorts of frustrated right now isn't helping my writing, so good luck keeping this all straight!

Here's the deal....

First of all, mom is still in the psych ward.  The nursing home she was in will not take her back because her behavior is too distrubtive & mean.  They are not equipped for that type of person.  They are not a hospital for behavioral problems, they are a nursing home.  So she's going to some other place, I guess in Worcester maybe, in which they are better equpped to handle her.  That is, IF she ever gets out of the psych ward.  They are trying to regulate her medication and make her somewhat stable.

She's called me a few times, all weepy and whiny.  Ive tried to talk to her a little bit, explain that her behavior isn't acceptable anywhere, etc.  But in her head, she's so screwed up that it makes no sense to her.  I have better luck talking to a 4 year old.  And I know that she has actual problems, I'm not denying that.  But I also know that she's always been this way, before her stroke too.  It's hard because the sane logical part of me wants to just ignore it....but I'm also smart enough to know that some of it  she just doesn't understand either.   It's sad and I feel guitly sometimes.  But I also feel that she's been spoiled her entire life and therefore she knows she can treat the family and everyone else like this....she always has and it was never a problem.  Except for empty threats and fights with my grampa, nothing changed and nothing was held against her.

My gram told me today that she went to visit my mom (after saying she wouldn't ever again!!! grr), and my mom was having one of her nasty, mean fits.  She was swearing at my gram, saying she hated her, and just being as awful as she always is.  Then she threw a bowl of soup at my gram.  DID YOU READ THAT?  Yea, she did that.  My gram told me all of this and honestly, the first thing I did was yelled at her.  She said she wouldn't go back.  But she went back.  Therefore, just reinforcing to my mother that she can treat people like shit and they will still visit.   But it pissed me off.   A lot.  And I have a bunch of shit in my own life to deal with, so I was irritated when I got off the phone.

When she normally calls me, she just talks and sulks a little then hangs up.  She's on all sorts of meds, so she's all loopy.  My gram is shocked that she's never starting swearing at me, but I'm not.  I think she knows in her fucked up little head, that if she did, I won't talk to her ever again.  I've done it for years.  I haven't seen her for years.  She treated me like shit my entire life and I don't need her in my life.  She's done nothing but hurt me.  But I also know that it's probably scary for her right now.  I know that and therefore if she calls, I will generally talk to her for a few minutes. 

Today was a little different....coincidentally, right after I got off the phone with my gram, my mom called from the hospital.  Apparently, her meds are doing ok because she almost sounded normal. But I was unhappy that she threw soup at my gram.  And I had to ask her about it.  Perhaps not my smartest move, being that I'm not in a great mood as it is....but I did anyway.  Her answer was, "I was in a bad mood." 

Which set off the little ticking time bomb inside of me....

I just yelled forever....explained that I'm in a bad mood right now and I have yet to hit, punch, throw something at someone, threaten their lives, or anything else. We get in bad moods, and unlike her, most people actually have a reason and real stress that causes it, and we fucking deal.   And I was brutally honest. She then started weeping....and said she'd never call me again....and I told her that line doesn't work on me anymore.  The crying and "fine then, you don't want to talk to me anymore" guilt trip she's so good at, is just old news to me.  I told her to do everybody a favor and never call any of them again.  I told her she needs to grow up, learn to treat people with respect, and IF she can ever accomplish that, THEN she can call again.   I reminded her that she did this to herself, that she is the one that has pushed everybody away.  And I told her that if my gram every goes there again, and I find out, it's not going to be good.   I believe it was worded something like this..."If my gram ever considers visiting you again, I will tell her that I won't ever speak to her again.  And I'm nice to her.  You are rude.  I will win. Don't fuck with her again or you will deal with me."  The one thing I have over everybody is that I dealt with her forever....and I've never (since I've been old enough at least), allowed her to treat me badly.  I won't take it.  I don't make empty threats....if I say it, I will do it.  She knows that.

And to be honest, I don't care if she calls again.  If she needs to talk to someone, I'd rather it be me.  I don't want her calling my gram.  I really try to be understanding to a point...and I don't want to be as mean as I have to be.  But she is a very mean person and it's hard.

So the moral of this story....I guess she won again. This woman that calls herself my mother in all her crazy, mean, and selfishness just won. Every awful thing she's done to me just came over me and made me blinded with anger.  She pissed me off enough that I yelled at her.  I got to her level.  I was MEAN.  I was brutally honest and harsh, and even though it was the truth, I was very mean about it.   And I don't want to be like that.  I don't like that she can ruin my fucking day.  I don't like that she's so mean to my gram.  I feel awful for the nurses who are saints and somehow deal with her everyday.  I don't know how they do it.

But I'm going to let it go...because she's not worth ruining my day....which is why I write this all out and let all of you read it.  I feel better when I get it all out...and I can move on and enjoy this beautiful day.  And that's what I'm off to do. 

Thanks for reading my therapy session....this was free!!!!

Well hi there...it's been a while

The last few weeks weren't too great so I didn't write much.  Who wants to read about me whining about life??  You all have your own problems so I just haven't posted anything.  I'm a little better now...not that things are better, I'm just accepting them better, so I can write again! Yay.

I have nothing too exciting to write...but I will comment on a few things and I will share a little bit...

First off, ObamaCare. Oh my fucking god.  I love that everybody on Facebook is suddenly a genius.  I love that people write what they believe are in-depth and really "deep" status' about this and how it's going to ruin the country and blah blah blah.  Here's my issue....I highly doubt that you, Mr. Pothead, who generally only writes about how he "can't wait to get high" actually read all 920 (or however many) pages of this.  It's fine to have an opinion, but I would think that people would be smarter than to simple hear what "their" side says about it, and take it as fact.  If we aren't old enough or smart enough to know that everything political is skewed to meet the needs of the party sharing it, then that's just sad.  But the other thing is that I don't get why people want to fight about this and start what they call "discussions" on everybody else's pages.  Grow the fuck up.  If you have your opinion and your beliefs, good for you....but let's not waste everybody's time while you go on and on about how we are dumb if we don't agree.  You look like a jackass, an ignorant jackass.  If you can't understand that differences in opinion and beliefs are what this country is made of, then you probably can't understand the actual issue you are arguing about either.   Guess what???  I don't get it all either....I've read things from both sides, and the "neutral" side.  I still don't understand it all, and I'm sure as hell not claiming to.  But I'm also not nagging you to believe the one sentence I did read and agree with.  Don't do it to me.  It's a great way to piss me off.

Happy I got that off my chest....

Moving on...

My well is not working again!  During a heatwave!  Want to come over?? I SMELL AWESOME!!  Yea, baby wipes are my shower, but whatever, it's cool.  NOT.  The freakin' thing keeps losing it's prime.  Do you know what that means??  Well, essentially, the lines keep getting filled with air, and not water.  Although a faucet is nice when it shoots out air, it's not nearly as cool as when it shoots out water.  We've primed it...again and again....we can get water for 2 mins! Woo Hoo.  Then it's gone.  I'd get as far as putting some shampoo in my hair.  IF THAT. It's awesome.  So finally, the landlord is going to call a well company!  Woo Hoo.   Too bad it's Saturday, and this isn't happening until Monday.  Hopefully it's something simple....a hole in the line that's easily accessible, or something.  Who knows.  I miss water.  I miss showers.  Justin misses having clean work clothes! I miss not having to use a bottle of water when I brush my teeth.  This reminds me of camping...and also why I'm more of a fan of "hotel-ing."

And for my amusing story....

Justin cracks me up...most of you don't know him well enough to ever hear him say some of the shit he says that absolutely makes me laugh out loud. So I will share a story.

The other morning, we were watching the news before he went to work.   There was a story about some survey in which women rated which celebrity they would most likely have an affair with.  Anyway, it was Tom Brady on the list and some others...I mean, Johnny Depp was NOT #1, so clearly, they didn't ask my opinion.  But anyway, this is how the conversation goes afterward:

Justin:  "What the hell, why didn't they do women?"

Me:      "I don't know babe. Who is your #1 you would cheat with?"

Justin: "Oh, there's a few, I can't just pick one."

Me:      "Ok, well give me your top three then"

Justin:  "I can't remember their names...you know that girl..ummm..."

Me:      "You know, you have a MUCH better chance of hookin' up with a broad if you know her name"

Justin:   "No, I just need to get her alone in a room and I'll do just fine."

Me:      "Umm...ok, creepy guy that crawls in the window at night...."

So that's all for now kids....enjoy the heat and stuff.....enjoy your showers, laundry, rinsing dishes, and all that good shit.  :-)

Discipline isn't a bad thing

The issue of discipline children is one that will always be debated as each family has their own ways of doing things and disciplining in ways that they feel works best.  And that's all fine and dandy.  I personally, was abused as a child, and therefore, I don't believe in hitting kids.  Another reason is that I think that what starts as "small spankings" can easily turn into more when it's one of those days where you are stressed, tired, sick, the kid is just being a terror all day, or whatever.  I think that even people with the best intentions, may one day cross a line that makes them uncomfortable.  But this doesn't in any way mean that I don't believe in discipline.  I think that kids need to understand right  & wrong, and they need to know that if they misbehave, privileges will be taken away or there will be some repercussion for their behavior.  Most of these beliefs that I have come from my own childhood, the gazillion things I've read regarding this, the 'mommy' blogs that I've always loved reading for some reason, "SuperNanny," and things I've witnessed myself from my friends. And no, I sure as hell do not think that I know everything.  And I also know that I will fuck it up when I have my own kids. 

Hylan is really good most of the time.  He listens well.  But he also gets one warning when he's doing something wrong.  And only one warning.  The next time he does it, he's done.  Whatever I said will happen, happens.  And yes, I feel guilty. And I actually hate doing it.  Especially because he generally will then do a mini tantrum.  Run into his room (put himself in time out I guess?! lol), cry, stomp around, come and tell me I'm mean or why I'm wrong or why he wants whatever he wanted, and then it ends.  And we talk about it and we hug and move on.  Did I mention I feel guilty every time?  I do.  I feel like I'm being strict and that he will hate me.  I try to be logical and know that it's helping him.  He needs to learn that there is good and bad, that everything in life won't be his way, that bad behavior or hitting somebody isn't tolerated, etc.   I've found that after a very long day of playing, around 6pm is usually his breaking point.  He gets whiny, and something usually causes a tantrum.  Yesterday, he was playing with the neighbor Devon and Devon suggested a game other than the "Zombies vs whatever" that Hylan wants to play ALL DAY EVERY DAY.  Devon was good, and kept playing with him, he really is a great kid! But eventually he said let's play "whatever" and Hylan walked up to him, pushed him, hit him, and screamed "No." 

I immediately said, "You're done Hylan" and we were going inside.  I had told him already to play nice since he'd already started whining.  So I had my first experience pulling a child from under the outdoor patio table, while he's screaming bloody murder and crying.  It was a good time.  I took him in the house and his little fit lasted about 1 minute.  Then he came out to talk.  We had a nice long talk about hitting as his mom had said he hit her boyfriend too.  I told him he needed to say sorry to Devon next time he saw him.  I explained that people don't like to play with people that hit them.  All that good stuff.  And he's ready to apologize and is hoping Devon will forgive him.  Which I know he will.  (Oh, and did I mention that during all of this, Justin was in the garden, in hearing distance, but didn't once come over!!!  Different story for a different day!  Leaving me to be the "mean" one as I was called!)

But either way, I think this works best.  And the whole point of this writing is actually about what happened when we went to get ice cream.  We were in the place, looking at flavors.  There was a young kid with his gram and mom, and the boy was whining.  There were about 4-5 other people waiting to order.  Then the boy went into a full on fit because of something to do with his ice cream.  This kid was so bad that a few people just walked out.  The staff were just standing there because the mother insisted that her son "use his words" instead of screaming.  This wasn't working.  It was holding up the line and the kid just screamed louder and louder.  And yes, it's probably happened to everybody and one day will happen to me.  But here's the part I don't agree with....and also why I think the child probably acted like a 2 year old when he was clearly 6 or 7...The mother said at least 10 times, "If you don't use your words you won't get ice cream" or "If you don't stop, you won't get ice cream."  This ice cream was already on the counter in front of him.  Apparently the issue was that the cone was also in a cup because it was too soft for a cone only.  He only wanted a cone.  And on and on it went.  The mother never followed up on anything.  The little boy knew he could scream until he got his way.  The gram eventually was scooping the ice cream into the cone to hand him the cone like he wanted.  He still got his ice cream.  And all of this went on while they were paying. 

And we all watched.  Even Hylan noticed it.  And I can promise you, that if that was my child, the ice cream would have gone in the trash (if already made) or cancelled if not.  We would have been out that damn door faster than the speed of light.  And he would not have gotten ice cream, that's a fact.  Does this make me mean?  God, I hope not.  But there probably are people who think that it does.  And that's fine.  I don't want to ever raise children who think screaming gets them anything.  Does anybody?

I just don't get it.  I don't think the kid was bad...the parents were.  Obviously they allow this behavior and will continue to give him whatever he wants, so why should he bother not doing it?  He clearly knows that a tantrum gets him what he wants.  It's quite sad.   And these people probably started off before kids, like me, thinking they'd get it right...so where did it go wrong?!!  I hope it doesn't ever happen to me. 

As usual everybody, thank you for reading!  You can leave me comments and make my day! You can also follow my blog and if so, I believe you get an email when I write something.  I really appreciate the comments I've gotten lately.  So many people were kind and wrote a lot after the last one.  Most were emails, texts, or fb messages.  But you can leave them here too!  Try it out!

Practicing being a mom.....

I'm a practicing mom this week....well sort of.  Hylan is here for a week and since Justin works all day, that means I'm here all day with him.  And to be perfectly honest, I was scared at first.  The fact that I can't drive myself any place bothers me enough when I'm alone, so the thought of having a 4 year old here all day and not being able to go to a park or well, anywhere was pretty damn scary.  But his mom needed a break and since I'm home all day, it was easy for me to help.  I think it's fairly normal for anybody with a 4 year old to want a break sometimes! We have a big yard so there plenty of room for him to play, even if we don't have a ton of toys for him.  I've learned that just running in circles can fascinate him for hours! The rain has put  a little damper on this outdoor play, but it's been clear off and on so he's managed to get out.  We played outside tonight for a while, he helped Justin in the garden last night, and he went fishing last night so it all worked out so far.  And it's not been nearly as stressful as I'd anticipated!  I've found things that he enjoys doing himself, which gives me a little bit of time to do other things...besides answer "how, why, how many,etc." over and over again!

I've learned a lot this week....here are some of the highlights:

1.  A 4 year old can hurt your feelings if you care about him! Here's what happened:  I was going to read him a bedtime story, then told Justin he should come too and we'd take turns.  Once it was my turn to read Hylan started crying, saying he only wanted his dad to read.  And yes, I acted almost as immature as I sulked out of the room...thinking "Well, you better hope you don't want anything to eat tomorrow until your dad gets home tomorrow from work!"  Good job on being the mature one Loriann!
2. A 4 year old can also make you feel great, by saying the most unexpected and sweet things.  Here's a few: The morning after the reading incident, when we woke up he told me I was very pretty and gave me a hug!  Apparently when my hair is sticking in every direction, and my mascara is where my blush should go, I am pretty!  If only I'd learned this years ago!   He also told me today that I made the best chicken in the world and the potatoes and broccoli were great too!  Awww...isn't that sweet! He tells me I'm nice, asks for hugs, snuggles with me, and says thank you everyday!  (He may be ahead of his dad in this category!)
3. Kids eat a lot of freakin' food :  I started putting small amount on his plate...but I think this week he's going through some sort of growth spurt.  He can eat a lot! I give him a good sized plate, about as big as mine, and he eats it all.  And he's great about fruits, vegetables, milk, and all the other shit that he should  eat and drink.  He actually does!  He just eats it constantly.  It shocks me because about an hour and a half after eating he wants a snack! He's actually hungry again.  Where do kids put all this food? I'm not sure, I think it's one of those great mysteries, and the fact that he's growing....either way, I'm just happy he's not one of those picky pain in the ass kids that only eats 4 things! He had chicken tonight that was a tad spicy and although he noticed it, he thought it was good!
4. Ignoring the tantrums really does work!  The tantrums in question, ONLY happen occasionally, and ONLY when Justin is home. I'm not sure exactly why.  Maybe it's that I'm generally the one that makes the rules, and he's used to being with his mom, so he listens better to women? Maybe he's just testing his dad to see what he will do.  Whatever the reason, if he doesn't get his way and he is a little cranky, he will stomp off and pout.  And I let him.  He generally goes into his room and within 2-3 minutes he comes out, all better, and smiling like the great little boy he is.  I make it a point to discuss what happened when he  comes out, why he didn't get what he wanted, and I make him apologize.  And it works!  Did I say that yet???  He gets over it all by himself and carries on with the day!
5. Kids wake up early and any mom who says her kid doesn't watch tv lies!   Ok, I don't know if that second part is actually fact, but I do know that the cartoons that are on in the morning save my life.  I am not a morning person and I don't sleep well at night.  Generally, Justin gets up for work, (waking me 20 times for various things that I don't care to remember), then leaves.  I fall back to sleep for about 20 minutes, then I hear the little foot steps coming and the cute little "I'm hungry." And I get up and so begins the day.  But as I sit there in that awful morning fog, trying to put out something for breakfast that is good for him, will fill him up, and is not too advanced for my morning skill level, he is glued to his cartoons.  And I'm okay with that.  This is how mornings start.  While he eats his breakfast, watching cartoons, I lay on the couch and try to wake up and become a functioning, coherent member of society.  
6. I'm not sure what's worse...Justin or Hylan, but I think Justin is:  Hylan listens to me when I say to take his shoes off outside on the porch so he doesn't track mud in the house.  Justin...not so much.   Hylan listens when I ask him not to run through the house, because socks and hard wood floors equal falls and stitches.  I'd prefer not to go to the ER anytime soon.  Justin thinks it's a great idea that he chases Hylan through the house in those damn socks.  (The yard just aren't big enough apparently!)  Although Justin is quite good at understanding my "What the fuck are you doing? And why are you doing  the opposite of what I tell him all day" look.  So I guess that's good.  Hylan understands quiet time and when it's almost bed time he knows it's time to settle down for bed.  Justin thinks it's a great idea to play monster when he puts him to bed at night.  I sit here, listening to the giggling and screaming from the bedroom.  Honestly, it's really cute.  And I love watching Justin play with him.  And it makes Hylan so happy.  It's not the end of the world that he does the opposite of what I try to get into Hylan's head all day long, but I worry that he will get confused.  And I just know that one day the "Dad lets me" will come out. (At which point Justin will get the phone call where his life is threatened!)
7. Kids are messy...another one that's not a shocker!  Hylan is traumatized by two things..one is his hands being dirty and the other is water in his eyes.  Not even soap....just the water itself is enough to freak him the hell out.  It's amusing when I'm giving him a bath & rinsing his hair. I tell him NOT to touch his eyes as it's just water and will dry.  He continually rubs his hands, that are full of soap, into his eyes.  And now, there is soap in your eyes buddy!!  And the handwashing....my god, this kid wants to wash his hands 100x a day! During his lunch, he stops eating, just to ask if he can wash his hands when he's done!  It cracks me up.  But it's not the worst habit that's for sure! The amount of dirty clothes he's collected in 4 days is shocking!  The amount of stickiness on all things in my house is also shocking! ANd the poops...well, his poops are scary, but if you read my facebook you already know.  And yes, I've gotten better at helping him wipe.  I no longer gag!  I'm considering that a big step in the right direction!
8. It's not easy....although I've never thought it was...but I'm just making it clear again.  He is a great little kid.  But he's a little kid.  And sometimes the constant questions are down right annoying.  Maybe it's because I don't have all the answers? Maybe it's because "Like one million" just annoys me after hearing it as the "amount" for anything?  Who knows.  But it does get old sometimes.  And when Justin gets home, the first thing I want to do is go sit on the porch alone for a little bit before making dinner.  I just don't have the same amount of energy as this boy does, that's for sure!

But really, it's been fun!  My neighbor Misty has been nice and helped me if I am unsure about something, or just need to vent so I don't scream.  And she has a little girl, and tomorrow we are going to the park!  I'm quite excite too. I'm really looking forward to talking to an adult for a little bit!!  

So that's my story so far!  It's been fun, much more than I'd expected.  It's an adjustment, that's for sure, but it's also nice seeing somebody so happy and positive every day!  And don't get me wrong, I have a ton of respect for all you that have multiple kids, jobs, and do this every freakin' day.  I know that I have one big plus going for me, and that is that he is going back to his mom's house in a few days! If it gets really bad, I remind myself of that!